Franchisee Marketing

KFC Franchisees, I feel your pain.

Not only do you have to suffer another redesign of your beloved Colonel, another name change, another investment in more seemingly arbitrary brand modifications, but you have to listen to your President Gregg Dedrick explain to the world that he is spending your Ad Fund dollars targeting a non-existent extraterrestrial demographic group with as-yet uncertain eating preferences.

Yes, KFC President Gregg Dedrick explained in a recent press release that “If there are extraterrestrials in outer space, KFC wants to become their restaurant of choice.” So KFC paid leading (read: expensive) event company Synergy to construct an 87,000 square foot logo featuring the “contemporized” version of Colonel Sanders in the Arizona desert near (someone explain why) Area 51. They claim triumphantly that this logo is visible from outer space [see satellite photo above] which is, of course, an area with a high density of heavy fast food consumers. Can someone tell me what it costs to have a company spend 3000 hours constructing and 6 days installing 65,000 1 foot by one foot painted tiles into a mosaic in the land of scorpions, rattlesnakes and (maybe this explains it) wild peyote buttons?

There was a clever retouched photo on the website that was said to contain a secret message from KFC (I think I read “WE ARE DAFT” in the Colonel’s goatee). I cheated and searched on blogs for the correct answer (“Finger-lickin’ good”) and entered it to receive my dollar coupon for a free Chicken Snacker. It didn’t tell you ’til after that the coupons were all gone, but you could receive their free newsletter. Great promotion.

KFC Franchisees, if you feel the urge to storm the castle with torches over this one, I’ll be available as an expert witness at your trials, free of charge. I feel your pain.

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